Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
