i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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