i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
