Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
