Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
