I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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