I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
