He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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