I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
