I need help removing her.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
