we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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