I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
