Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize