i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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