you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
