She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
