I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize