Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
