I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
