my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
