better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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