Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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