well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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