I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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