Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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