so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
