I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
