Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
