Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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