You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
