normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
