how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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