You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
