The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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