That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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