Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
