just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
