i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Floor bacon is actually really good
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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