So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
