i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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