i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
