so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
