my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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