I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize