It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
