I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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