I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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