dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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