NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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