you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
