And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
