Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
