Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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