Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
