i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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