I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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