No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My ass is underappreciated
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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