we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.