Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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