How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night