I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory