whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
