At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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