i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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