he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
this will be a night to untag.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
